Reality Bites (Ecclesiastes 7:1-22)
You may have seen pictures of popular tourist destinations where two photos of the same location are placed side by side. The one labelled “expectation” is beautiful and unspoilt. The one labelled “reality” is overcrowded and unappealing. Perhaps we have experienced this on holiday. The excitement of visiting our dream destination quickly wears off when we see the place for ourselves. We’re brought back down to earth with an anti-climactic “thud”. Reality does not match expectation.
The same can be said of our lives under the sun. Actual life can be disappointingly different from what we expect. Reality bites. We expect success but experience struggle, failure instead of fulfilment, trouble instead of triumph. Reality bites for the young, who spend their supposedly happy childhood and youth stressing over studies. Reality bites for graduates, who cannot find jobs, let alone pursue their passion. Reality bites for the upwardly mobile, whose careers and aspirations are interrupted by restructuring and retrenchments. Reality bites for young families, who face an ever-rising cost of living. Reality bites for the middle aged, sandwiched between the demands of parenting, jobs, and caregiving. Reality bites for seniors, whose retirement plans are derailed by an unexpected illness. Where does reality bite you?
And, how should we respond when reality bites? This is one of the key questions asked by the Preacher in Ecclesiastes. We can live in denial, escape into unreality, and set ourselves up for disappointment. Or, we can honestly face the facts and prepare ourselves to live faithfully and wisely amid the brokenness. The Preacher aims to burst our idealistic bubble. He confronts us with the hard reality of living under the sun, where we toil then die. All is fleeting, futile, absurd, and elusive. All is vanity.
Consider God amid the realities of death and life.
To be forewarned is to be forearmed. In our text, the Preacher equips us to live wisely when reality bites. This is the big idea: Consider God amid the realities of death and life. We ill unpack this in three points: (1) Consider the sobering reality of death; (2) Consider the confounding reality of life; and (3) Consider the humbling reality of God.
Consider the sobering reality of death (Ecc 7:1-6)
Ecclesiastes 7 contains a number of proverbs, many of whom focus on what is “better” or “good” (Ecc 7:1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 10, 11, 18, 20). These provide a partial answer to the question the Preacher had posed in Ecclesiastes 6:12: “Who knows what is good for man while he lives the few days of his vain life, which he passes like a shadow?” In other words, if life is futile and fleeting — and there is nothing we can do to alter this reality — then, how should we live now? We may be tempted to throw our arms up in resignation. Since all is vanity, does it matter how we live? Absolutely, says the Preacher. Indifference is not the answer. We ought to care how we live because God does. Even as we wrestle with the seeming meaninglessness of life, there is a still a good and better way to live. But it is only a partial answer because of limitations we have to acknowledge. More on this later.
In the first six verses, the Preacher takes a closer look at the sobering reality of death. The better way to live in a fallen world is by remembering we will die. Look at Ecclesiastes 7:1 — “A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death than the day of birth.” The second part of the verse makes a surprising comparison. Would we rather attend a funeral or a birthday party? It seems a silly question to ask. It is obvious we prefer birthdays to bereavements. Who in their right mind would rather mourn a death than to celebrate a birth? Many of us have experienced the bitter pain of loss. For some, the grief is still raw. We know firsthand that death is difficult and distressing.
The Preacher is not making light of death. In fact, it is precisely because the Preacher understands the seriousness of death that he wants us to learn its lessons. His shocking comparison is meant to provoke us to think. Death entered the world because of the sin of the first man, Adam. Since then, we are all destined to die. It’s not a question of “if”, but “when”. The day of death is inevitable. Given the certainty of death, it is surprising how little we reflect on our mortality. We live as though we’ll live forever. I do not mean we should have a morbid fascination with death. Rather, we should remember death to know the brevity of life and to cherish the preciousness of our days. Live well now by embracing the reality that we will die. When we encounter death, see it as a reminder to treasure the gift of life.
Death is a good teacher. It tells us life is limited. So, use it well and wisely. Live life backwards in light of the end.
In this sense, it is better to attend a funeral than a birthday. One writer puts it like this, “A coffin is a better preacher than a cot.” Let the reality of death move us to consider how we are living now and what we are living for. David says in Psalm 39, “O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! …Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath (hevel)!” And, Moses says in Psalm 90, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Death is a good teacher. It tells us life is limited. So, use it well and wisely. Live life backwards in light of the end. Remembering death builds depth of character. Some of us have been powerfully shaped by the death of a loved one. The sudden passing of my father before my 21st birthday taught me life is fragile, impermanent and unpredictable. It has helped me see how God’s grace is at work even in life’s darkest moments.
In 1991. Jerry Sittser was driving with his wife, his four children, and his mother when their car was hit by a drunk driver. In a heartbreaking moment, Sittser lost his wife, his mother, and his four-year-old daughter. He later wrote a book titled A Grace Disguised, which described how he dealt with the loss and sorrow. He said, “I will never recover from my loss and I will never get over missing the ones I lost. But I still cherish life… I have lost, but I have also gained. I lost the world I loved, but I gained a deeper awareness of grace.”
As a younger person, a good way to grow in your Christian walk is to befriend an older believer. It expands our view of the life of faith. Build spiritual friendships with the senior saints among us. Observing the life of someone ahead can teach us what it means to redeem the time and to persevere in faithfulness across the seasons of life. Also, attend the wake services and funerals of fellow church members or their family members. Apart from comforting the bereaved, it helps us to remember death and treasure life.
In this first half of Ecclesiastes 7:1, the Preacher speaks of how a good name is priceless. What does this have to do with remembering death? I think it is because how we die shows how we have lived. So, a person’s name can only be established at death. The final evaluation of our lives awaits our end. One day, God will call time on our lives. Will we be ready to go? What sort of name we will have? What will be said of us at our funeral?
But we do not like to be reminded of death, do we? Faced with mortality, some respond with denial. Maybe we think we can somehow cheat death with the right diet, exercise, and medical care. Or, we numb ourselves to the reality of death with distractions and diversions, such as work, recreation and entertainment. We busy or amuse ourselves in a bid to avoid the uncomfortable truth that we will die.
In Ecclesiastes 7:2-4, the Preacher addresses examples of escapism, such as the house of feasting (Ecc 7:2), laughter (Ecc 7:3), and the house of mirth (Ecc 7:4). We prefer comedy to the coffin. We escape into entertainment, experiences, prosperity and pleasure. We just want to have fun and food. But what is wrong with this? Didn’t the Preacher say it is “good… to eat and drink and find enjoyment”? (Ecc 5:18) Indeed, he is not promoting a grim and gloomy life. Far from it! Enjoy life while we can. Joy is good as long as it leads us to God, not away from him. Do life’s pleasures deepen our devotion to God or dull our love for him? Mindless merry-making misses the mark. It ignores what truly matters. Do not let food and fun make us forget the fleetingness of life under the sun. Therefore, the Preacher says: It is better to go to the house of mourning… for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart (Ecc 7:2). Sorrow is better than laughter (Ecc 7:3). The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning (Ecc 7:4).
Amid the distractions and diversions of life, how do we ensure that we not lose sight of the reality of death? Listen to the wise, says the Preacher (Ecc 7:5). Be humble and teachable. Invite godly correction from others who are wise. Beloved, are we open to having our spiritual brothers and sisters point out areas in our lives where repentance and growth are needed? It is more beneficial for our souls to be admonished with God’s truth than to have our ears tickled with foolish tunes.
Why? Ecclesiastes 7:6 tells us: It is because the laughter of the fools… is vanity. Like the crackling of thorns under a pot, foolish enjoyment is futile and fleeting. It is like thorns that catch fire and fizzle out without amount to much. So, it is better to live soberly now than to fill our lives with frivolity and pay the price in the future. Remember, God will judge. He will hold us accountable for how we have lived. Many years after Ecclesiastes, another Preacher — a greater and wiser one — would declare: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matt 5:3-5) Jesus’ words reveal the surprising, upside-down nature of God’s kingdom. This world tells us to selfishly strive, to live for ourselves today, to maximise prosperity and pleasure while we can. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die. But Jesus points us to a better way to true life and joy: acknowledge that we are spiritually poor, mourn over our sin, humble ourselves before King Jesus. Will we listen to His wise rebuke and follow Him?
Consider the confounding reality of life (Ecc 7:7-12, 15-22)
The first six verses encourage us to remember death. The rest of our text focuses on how we are to apply wisdom to the confounding reality of life. The Preacher highlights the benefits as well as the limits of wisdom. Wisdom is helpful, but it can only get us so far. Ecclesiastes 7:7-12 consists of a series of proverbs that apply wisdom to various aspects of life under the sun. Ecclesiastes 7:7 speaks of how wealth can tempt even the wise: Surely oppression drives the wise into madness, and a bribe corrupts the heart. The Preacher warns us against the love of money. Greed and covetousness can undermine wisdom and cause us to stumble. A moment of madness, when we let our guard down, can undo all the benefits of living wisely. The love of money is insanity.
Living wisely also means being patient, not proud (Ecc 7:8). Impatience can be a sign of pride. We want everything done our way, in our time. We get frustrated when things do not go according to our plans. We lose patience and give up. Pride may also cause us to bite off more than we can chew. Pride makes us overestimate how much we can do and underestimate the time it takes to do it. To be patient is to humbly recognise our limitations. Pride may be a reason for our overwork. We find it difficult to say “no” because we want others to think well of us. But we end up dropping the ball because we cannot cope. Do not start what we cannot finish, says the Preacher. Be humble and patient.
Wisdom also means being long-suffering — “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools” (Ecc 7:9). The fool lacks self-control. He or she is irritable, prickly, oversensitive, and easily offended. Rather than giving others the benefit of the doubt and bearing with their faults and flaws, the fool often assumes the worst of others. The fool chooses to take offence and to allow grudges to fester. The Preacher is realistic about our relationships in a fallen world. Under the sun, we will step on one another’s toes. But the wise will reflect God’s character by being gracious, merciful, loving, forgiving, and slow to anger. Godly wisdom is pure, peaceable, and gentle. It is merciful in making peace.
Living wisely under the sun means being realistic about the challenges of life in every season, both past and present. Listen to Ecclesiastes 7:10 — “Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.” I enjoy history. I am particularly keen on learning about Singapore’s past. Not long ago, I watched a documentary series about Singapore through the decades, from the 1960s until the present. I must confess: Seeing all those scenes of old Singapore reminded me of my growing-up years and made me rather nostalgic. Ahh… the good, old days. Life was better then. Homes and cars were more affordable. Food was cheap and good. School and jobs were less stressful. Even the music was better. Do you also wish you could turn back the clock? This is what the Preacher would say to us: Do not be foolish! Stop looking at the past with rose-tinted glasses. Nostalgia deceives us into thinking the past is better than the present. It blinds us to God’s gifts now and hinders our enjoyment of them. God is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow. Nostalgia is a form of escapism. We idealise or even idolise the past, thinking we were happier then. It reveals a heart that is dissatisfied and discontent with the present, and fearful about the future. Instead, we ought to remember what the Preacher said in Ecclesiastes 5:19: Accept our lot and rejoice in our toil— the present is God’s gift to us. So, trust Him now. Stop living in the past.
Wisdom is also better than folly in that it helps preserve our inheritance (Ecc 7:11-12). Wealth without wisdom will be wasted, but the wise will preserve money and life.
Wisdom is indeed better than folly. But wisdom has its limitations. It cannot solve all our problems or always guarantee good outcomes. Wisdom cannot change the fundamental fact that all is vanity under the sun. Life is still toilsome, fleeting, and unpredictable. Be wise, but know that this does not entitle us to the outcomes we want or hope for. We have no power to control how things will turn out. If we fail to understand this, we will end up badly disappointed and discouraged. Some have stopped believing in God because they thought he failed to “bless” them although they did the right things. For example, many have been burnt by the false teaching of the prosperity gospel. By wrongly promising blessing for believing, it has deceived and disillusioned many.
Scripture speaks plainly and honestly about life under the sun. it does not pretend the problem of pain does not exist. So, if you are hurting, turn to God and not away from Him. He invites us to rest in Him.
Ecclesiastes is a helpful antidote to the poison of the prosperity gospel. The Preacher confronts us with the confounding reality of life (Ecc 7:15). The Preacher observes topsy-turvy injustices in the world. The good die young, the evil live long. Why do the good suffer, while the wicked have easy lives? All this is vanity. We cannot comprehend such apparent futility and absurdity, much less explain it. But do not despair. Instead, acknowledge the limits of our knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. We simply do not and cannot know. Approach life with a healthy dose of realism. This is still a broken world. We will not enjoy our best life now. Some dismiss Christianity as unrealistic and Christians as blindly optimistic, “happy-clappy” types. Karl Marx called religion “the opiate of the masses”, to dull them to the painful realities of life. But biblical Christianity is no fairy tale. As we have seen in Ecclesiastes, Scripture speaks plainly and honestly about life under the sun. it does not pretend the problem of pain does not exist. So, if you are hurting, turn to God and not away from Him. He invites us to rest in Him.
At first glance, the Preacher’s advice in Ecclesiastes 7:16-17 sounds pragmatic and cynical: “Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself? Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time?” It sounds like the Preacher is advising us to hedge our bets, to do just enough to stay out of trouble. But this is not what the Preacher means. His point, rather, is that we should not think we can engineer or entitle ourselves to certain outcomes by being righteous or wise. Yes, righteousness and wisdom are better than wickedness and folly. So, do not be a fool and die before your time. But beware the danger of self-righteousness and pride. Do not delude ourselves into thinking we are always right or that we have all the answers. Do not think we can control our lives or even arm-twist God with our righteousness and wisdom. Instead, we ought to fear God and recognise that His ways and thoughts are much higher than ours. Listen to Ecclesiastes 7:18 — “It is good that you should take hold of this, and from that withhold not your hand, for the one who fears God shall come out from both of them.” The one who fears God avoids both self-righteousness and foolishness. Hold fast to God and reverence Him. Worship Him, for He is God and we are not. All things work according to His plan, not ours.
The Preacher makes a similar point in Ecclesiastes 7:19-22. Ecclesiastes 7:19 reaffirms the benefits of wisdom — “Wisdom gives strength to the wise man more than ten rulers who are in a city.” At the same time, we should also realise the limits of our wisdom, given that nobody is sinless. Look at Ecclesiastes 7:20 — “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.” The Apostle Paul echoes this truth in Romans 3:10: “None is righteous, no, not one.” Indeed, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. This is the reason why death is a reality for us all. In Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, the Preacher gives us an example of how we have sinned: “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.” We are all guilty of sins of the tongue. So, do not be overly sensitive or easily offended by what others say about us; we ourselves have also said or thought unkind things about others.
The Preacher wants us to feel the sharp bite of reality so that we forsake false hopes under the sun. Amid the sobering reality of death and the confounding reality of life, where is our hope? All is vanity, but we can have true joy if we hope in the One who holds all things in His hand.
Consider the humbling reality of God (Ecc 7:13-14)
“Look up” — that is the tagline for the new Superman movie. Not look within ourselves. Not look at others. Look up. We are not the hero. The Preacher wants us to be humbled by the realities of death and life. Recognise the limits of our wisdom and knowledge. Look away from ourselves and look up to God. Listen to Ecclesiastes 7:13: “Consider the work of God: who can make straight what he has made crooked?” God is the one who has subjected creation to futility. This is His work. The whole creation groans under the weight of God’s judgement against sin. Hence, it is toil under the sun. In Psalm 90:9, Moses describes the trials and tribulations of life in a fallen world: “All our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.” Our groaning is meant to make us go to God. He has subjected us to limitations and weaknesses lest we become proud and think we can save ourselves. We are unable to make straight what God has made crooked. God is God; we are not.
Everything is a gift, for our good and His glory.
We should trust Him, for He is the sovereign Lord of all. Our lives are in His hands. Listen to Ecclesiastes 7:14 — “In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.” There will be good days and bad days. According to His wise plan for us, God brings joys and sorrows, pain and pleasure into our lives. Everything is a gift, for our good and His glory. Therefore, instead of endlessly striving for selfish gain or boasting in our self-confidence, we ought to humbly accept our lot from God. Be content and grateful for the simple gifts of life, such as food and relationships. Do not be so caught up with ambition and anxiety that we forget to be joyful in the day of prosperity. Enjoy God’s gifts while we can, while God gives us the ability to do so. In tough times, consider how our trials are also from God’s hand. Adversity helps us see we are not in control, God is. We have no idea what will be after us; only God knows.
Therefore, trust Him. Not only is He sovereign, but God is also good. How can we be sure? God, the Giver of all good gifts, has graciously given us His Son. Jesus is the perfect example of humility. He shows us what it means to be humble before God by obediently submitting to the Father’s will. The Son subjected Himself to vanity. He willingly accepted the limitations of life under the sun. He took on flesh and lived among us, becoming a man of sorrows and acquainted with our grief. Jesus suffered adversity, culminating in His death on the cross. In the words of Ecclesiastes 7:15, Jesus is the righteous man who perished in His righteousness. He died for sinners, bearing God’s judgement in the place of all who will trust Him for salvation. By His resurrection, Jesus has vanquished vanity. He has defeated sin and death. If we repent of our sins and believe in Jesus, we are forgiven and made right with God. We rely not on our righteousness, but stand in Christ’s righteousness. In Him, we have true joy and life that will endure into eternity.
Our present reality bites. But the gospel gives us new eyes to look beyond life under the sun. We groan before glory. God will make everything beautiful in its time. We long for the day when expectation becomes reality, when faith becomes sight. Then, we shall clearly see that the sufferings of this present time pale in comparison with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Thanks to Jesus, we can ultimately say that the day of death is better that the day of birth. To live for Jesus now is good. To depart to be with Him is even better. Therefore, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. May this be true for us all.