Live the New Life (Ephesians 4:25-5:2)
You may have heard of the “last-mile problem”. It’s a term urban planners use to describe the 10-15 minute-long journey between the nearest bus stop or MRT station and our destination. Because of this gap, commuters may not use buses or trains to get around. For example, if Mattar station is too far away, we’d probably not take the train here. Regardless of how nice the buses or trains are, they won’t do us any good if we don’t use them. When it comes to gospel, is there a similar “last-mile problem” between what we know and how we actually live? Is there a gap between our life and the truths we say we believe?
The first three chapters of Ephesians focus on the truths of the gospel. We have all sinned against God, who is right to judge us for our rebellion. We are helpless to save ourselves. But God, who is rich in grace and mercy, did not leave us in our sins. Instead, He sent his Son to save sinners like us through His death and resurrection. Jesus died on the cross for sinners, bearing God’s judgement on behalf of all who believe in Him. Jesus rose from the dead, defeating sin and death, giving us new life. This is the good news: We are saved by faith in Christ alone. Salvation is God’s gift. It is by grace, not works. Once we were dead in sins, but we are made alive in Christ. Once we were cut off from God and his people, but Jesus is our peace and he has made us one. These are glorious truths. But as wonderful as they are, they will be ineffective for us if there is a gap between the gospel and our lives.
The second half of Ephesians aims to address this potential disconnect. Beginning in Ephesians 4:1, Paul urges us to connect the truth to our lives. If Jesus has saved us, we ought to live in holiness and unity as God’s redeemed people. So, the overarching command of chapters 4-6 is this: Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which we have been called. Live a life consistent with the truth of the gospel.
Why does it matter that we apply the truth of the gospel to our lives? Because this is what it means to follow Jesus. Conversion is more than merely knowing the gospel intellectually or “making a decision for Jesus”. Conversion means committing to Christ. We repent of our sins and trust in him to save us. We are transformed from the inside-out. God takes away our old, sinful hearts, and he gives us new hearts that want to follow him. Through conversion, we are a new creation in Christ. The old has passed away; the new has come. We are not saved by doing good works, but we are saved to do good works. The gospel is God’s power to save. Not only does it wash away our sin and make us right with God, it also transforms us from sinner to saint. As Ryan reminded us last week, “gospel people are changed people”.
Live the new life in Christ.
Therefore, we ought to live in line with the gospel. This is evidence that we have been saved. Because of what Christ has done for us, we are to leave the old life behind. We are to live the new life. The gospel compels and propels us forward. Look at Ephesians 4:20-24: If we have learned Christ, then we are to “put off our old self... to be renewed in the spirit of our minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness”. We are to put this general truth into practice in specific ways. What does it mean practically to put off the old self and to put on the new? If the gospel changes us, then what does this change look like? Our text looks at how the gospel renews three areas of our lives: our words, our work, and our relationships. This is the big idea: Live the new life in Christ.
Our Words (Eph 4:25, 29-30)
When I was a kid, my friends and I used to make fun of one another, trading barbs and insults. Then, we would laugh it off by reciting this rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Now that I’m a lot older and a little wiser, I realise this childish rhyme is not true. We should instead say: Sticks and stones can only break our bones, but words can really hurt us. Our words matter. They are like dynamite, with the dangerous potential to blow things up. Words can cut very deep. Proverbs 12:18 says, “Rash words are like sword thrusts.” God cares about our words. Jesus said, “On the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak.” (Matt 12:36)
Being in Christ should change what we say, how we say it, and why we say it. Paul exhorts us to live the new life in Christ with our words. Look at Ephesians 4:25 — “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbour, for we are members one of another”. Notice how the exhortation is structured: there is a negative to avoid, a positive to practice, and a reason or motivation to do it. The other exhortations in our text follow a similar structure. This is patterned after the earlier command to put off the old self and to put on the new. Paul gives us specific examples of what not to do and what to do instead. He also tells us why. The reasons flow out of the gospel. These commands are not legalistic; we obey them because of who we already are in Christ. The “therefore” at the beginning of Ephesians 4:25 bases the command on the previous verses. Since we have learned Christ and are a new creation in him, we should live a new life. It is a life of ongoing repentance and faith, of putting off sin and putting on Christ.
What are we to put off? Falsehood (Eph 4:25). Do not lie. Do not speak half-truths. Do not mislead or misrepresent. Do not gossip and spread rumours. Do not disguise our opinions and speculations as facts. Do not exaggerate or overstate. Do not share fake news by forwarding dubious messages or videos. Most of all, have nothing to do with false teaching. Do not allow ourselves to be “tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine” (Eph 4:14).
Ephesians 4:29 urges us to also avoid wicked words. We are to put off corrupting talk. Jesus uses the same word in Matthew 7 to describe the bad tree that bears bad fruit. Corrupting talk is rotten. It includes obscene speech, crude joking and bad language. More than that, it refers to harsh and hurtful words that tear others down. It includes ranting, complaining and criticising. It includes slander and dishonouring words. It is talk that provokes disquiet, discontentment, distrust, and disputes. It discourages, divides, and destroys. Such talk undermines unity. It brings war, not peace; disease, not health; death, not life. So, put off false, corrupting words. They are inconsistent with the gospel. As gospel people, let us watch our tongues and guard our lips. Be careful how we speak, whether in conversations, messages, emails, or online.
What are we to put on? Ephesians 4:25 encourages us to speak the truth with his neighbour. Speak God’s truth in love to one another. God’s truth is life-giving. Proverbs 10:11 says, “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life.” Speak words that bring healing and health, comfort and courage. God’s truth sanctifies. It is useful for teaching, reproof, and correction. It instructs us in righteousness. It convicts us of sin, points us to Christ, and shows us the way we should go. The word “neighbour” recalls Jesus’ Parable of the Good Samaritan. Instead of asking “Who is my neighbour?” and limiting our love, we should seek to be a neighbour to others by using our words to do them good. In our old life, we may have used our words in self-centred ways: to boast, argue or put others down. But now that we know Jesus, He calls us to use our words not as weapons but as tools to serve others. In the context, this refers especially to our brothers and sisters in the church.
Therefore, Ephesians 4:29 exhorts us to speak only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Speak only words that strengthen faith and hope. In this way, the whole body of Christ builds up the whole body in love. So, before we speak, ask ourselves: Does this edify and encourage? Does this help the person know and follow Jesus? This does not mean we only say nice things to each other. At times, we will have to say difficult things, for the sake of our spiritual good. For example, if we notice a brother or sister straying into sin, we should warn and admonish him or her. Not in a harsh, proud, self-righteous way, but out of loving concern for his or her spiritual wellbeing. Hence, we are to speak as fits the occasion — in a gentle, humble, timely and appropriate way. Get to know one another well, so that we can be sensitive to speak what is suitable for a specific season. Do not be like Job’s friends, who blamed His suffering on His sin. The goal of speaking is not to tear down, but to build up. Our words are meant to give grace to those who hear. What an amazing privilege to be channels of God’s grace! God bestows His grace through the words we speak to one another. God works through us to bless others. Beloved, let’s seek to be used by God in this way!
We have thought about what not to do, and what to do. Now, let us consider the why. Look again at Ephesians 4:25. We are to speak the truth for we are members one of another. Christ has made us one. We belong to one another as fellow members of the one body of Christ, the church. Because we share this spiritual bond in Christ, we ought to speak the truth to one another, so that the whole body grows. Ephesians 4:30 gives us another related reason: It is because we have been sealed by the same Spirit, who guarantees our hope. In Christ, we enjoy the unity of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit of God sets us apart as God’s holy people. Therefore, do not grieve the Spirit by undermining His work in uniting us. Because He is holy, all sins are grieving to Him. But He is especially grieved by sinful words that harm the church’s unity. May we be a church that brings God pleasure, not pain!
Our Work (Eph 4:28)
Work is a big part of our lives. It includes what we do in our jobs and businesses. More broadly, it also includes our labour at school or in the home. For example, stay-at-home mums work very hard caring for the children and running the household. Given the amount of time and energy we give to work, we cannot leave such a significant aspect of our life remain unchanged by the gospel. The gospel is not just for Sunday; it should make a difference when you go to work tomorrow. The gospel is for our Mondays to Saturdays as well.
Having become followers of Jesus, the Ephesians had to change how they worked.
What is our attitude to work? Are we more influenced by the culture than by God’s word? Having become followers of Jesus, the Ephesians had to change how they worked. What did they have to put off? Look at Ephesians 4:28: Let the thief no longer steal. Some were saved from a life of crime that they had to leave behind. It was also common in that culture for workers to cut corners or to pilfer from their employers. It was common for bosses to steal from their workers by forcing them to work long hours for little pay. Such theft still happens today. In some cases, stealing involves scams, fraud, embezzlement, or tax evasion. But theft can also be more subtle. Do we steal from our employers by putting in less time and effort than we should? Some quiet quit by becoming disengaged and demotivated at work, doing the bare minimum just to avoid getting fired. If you are a boss or supervisor, do you steal by driving your staff ever harder, expecting them to do more for less? Do we steal by passing off someone else’s work as our own? Are we ethical and honest in the use of AI? Do we steal by being a people-pleaser, not working with a sincere heart but doing things only to be seen and approved by others? If we have come to know Christ, then we must no longer be dishonest in our work. Do not be idle at work.
What should we put on? Look again at Ephesians 4:28: Let him labour, doing honest work with his own hands. Be diligent with what God has given us to do, whether at school, in the home, or in the workplace. The word “labour” is a strong one, meaning working to the point of tiredness. The Bible is not advocating burnout, but good, hard work. This is what it means to work with our own hands — not necessarily manual labour, but faithful toil. We are not shortchanging our employers or taking shortcuts to get rich quick. So, work conscientiously with integrity. Paul himself modelled this. He tells the Thessalonian church: “For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labour we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you.”
Why should we work in this way? The rest of Ephesians 4:28 gives us a reason and motivation for work: So that he may have something to share with anyone in need. In our culture, self-centredness drives so much of work: I want to advance my career. I want to be fulfilled by work. I want a comfortable life. I want to be able to afford nice things. I want to be successful and make a name for myself. These motivations have fuelled the hustle culture — a mindset that prioritises professional success, at the expense of rest, health and personal life. Constant, intense work is glorified. Work becomes an idol that demands our total devotion. In 2019, Alibaba founder Jack Ma famously (infamously?) promoted the 996 work culture — 9am to 9pm, 6 days a week — saying long hours are necessary for success. Now, many are pushing back against the toxic hustle culture, saying it has led to burnout.
If we worship work, we will be disappointed because it cannot bear the weight of our expectations. Scripture, on the other hand, provides us with a more humble reason for work. It is not self-centred but other-person-centred. Just as Paul worked so he could earn his own living and not be a burden to others, so we work to provide for others. It is a blessing to be able to put food on the table for our loved ones. It is a good thing to be able to offer material help to a brother or sister. Be motivated by generosity, not greed. Work for the good of others, not for selfish gain. Work so that we might have more to share, not more to hoard. Neither be idle at work nor make work an idol. Instead, do our work to reflect the generous love of our Saviour. Jesus did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life for others.
Our Relationships (Eph 4:26-27, 31-32; 5:1-2)
The gospel changes our words and work. It should also transform our relationships. Indeed, these verses have a strong relational focus. Paul is concerned about the impact our words and work have on others. He also highlights how we are to treat one another in our relationships.
What are the negatives that we should put off? Look at Ephesians 4:26 — “Be angry and do not sin.” Avoid sinful anger, which harms our relationships. What does sinful anger look like? Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice (Eph 4:31). Beloved, repent of the anger in our hearts. Bitterness refers to the resentments and grudges we bear towards others. We may not express it openly, but bitterness gnaws away at us on the inside. It hollows us out. We feed our grievances and harden our hearts. It makes us unkind and unloving. We refuse to be reconciled. Bitterness can boil over into wrath and anger. We explode in bad-tempered outbursts or react with seething rage and animosity. We raise our voices and quarrel and argue. This is clamour. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. This is slander. We weaponize our words and use them to assassinate another’s character. We speak ill of others behind their back. We are full of malice, as we aim to put down and tear down.
Such anger destroys relationships. In the church, it fractures fellowship, separates friends and undermines the unity of the body of Christ. It turns brothers and sisters in God’s spiritual family into strangers and enemies. Sinful anger has a chilling effect on the church. It robs us of joy and peace. It dulls our affection and makes us suspicious of one another. It distracts us from our mission to make disciples. We are so exhausted by our conflicts with one another that we have no time and energy for the work for the gospel. Sinful anger harms the credibility of our gospel witness. Why should the world listen to us if we do not even love one another? Sinful anger opposes God’s plan to display his glory in the church.
What, then, should we put on instead? Ephesians 4:26 commands us to be angry. Wait a minute. We were told in Ephesians 4:31 to let all anger be put away. What does Paul mean by exhorting us to be angry? Verse 26 tells us there is such a thing as righteous anger. We are to be angry, but not in a sinful way. Paul is quoting from Psalm 4. The psalmist, David, laments the sinfulness he sees around him. He says in Psalms 4:2, “O men, how long shall my honour be turned into shame? How long will you love vain words and seek after lies?” This psalm expresses David’s prayer for God’s grace and righteousness. David is indignant at sin. He longs for God to right all the wrongs. So, David resolves not to sin in return although he is sinned against. Instead, he will trust in God and rest in his protection.
In the same way, we are to be angry and indignant at sin because of the havoc it wreaks on our lives and relationships. How can we be indifferent to our sin, when it destroys the unity of God’s church? Jesus, for example, was angry and grieved by sin. Commenting on these verses, John Stott writes, “If God hates sin, his people should hate it too. If evil arouses his anger, it should arouse ours too.” So, be angry. May righteous anger lead us to repentance. May we repent of the vain words we have spoken that have hurt our brothers and sisters. May righteous anger stir up our zeal for one another’s spiritual wellbeing. Let us also be careful that our righteous anger doesn’t degenerate into proud, self-righteousness that makes us harsh and critical. Start by being angry at our own sins. Take the log out of our own eye first.
If we are guilty of sinful anger, do not delay in turning away from it. Address it right away. Do not nurse anger or allow it to fester in our hearts. Hear what Ephesians 4:26 says: Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Put this truth into practice, especially those of us who are married or preparing for marriage. Because marriage is such a close relationship, the likelihood of stepping on each other’s toes is higher. The temptation to hold on to anger is greater. So, resolve to keep short accounts. Do not go to bed angry. Be quick to confess faults, to forgive and to be reconciled. Do not let our hurts and disappointments make us bitter and resentful. Husbands, love our wives as Christ loved the church. Wives, submit to your own husbands. Be humble. Be slow to speak and quick to listen to each other. We all face challenges in our marriages. We do not have to struggle on our own. Seek help from a mature, godly couple in the church.
If we let sinful anger fester, it is like a cancer that kills. The devil will exploit it. Give no opportunity to the devil (Eph 4:27). He seeks the church’s downfall and schemes to destroy our unity. Beloved, do not be unaware of the spiritual war that is going on. A key battleground is our relationships with one another. Do not give room to the devil to disturb the peace of God’s church. The consequences of sinful anger are severe. The health and happiness of the church are at stake. Do not play into the devil’s hands by letting him use our anger against us. What else should we put on in our relationships? Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another (Eph 4:32). Beloved, let’s show one another mercy, compassion, and grace. Together with the qualities of humility, gentleness, patience and love, which are mentioned in Ephesians 4:1, these positive traits should shape how we relate to one another. They reflect God’s character. Therefore, Ephesians 5:1 says, Be imitators of God. Our relationships with one another matter, because they are meant to show what God is like. Children resemble their parents. So, by following our Heavenly Father, we show that we belong to him as his beloved children. He has adopted us into His family, so that we glorify Him by displaying His likeness.
We love one another by using our words to build up and give grace.
The command that sums up our text is found in the Ephesians 5:2: Walk in love. Our new life in Christ is fundamentally a life of love. We are to love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. And, we are to love one another. We do so by speaking the truth in love to one another. We love one another by using our words to build up and give grace. We love one another by doing honest work, so that we can share with anyone in need. We love one another by putting away sinful anger, and by being kind, tenderhearted and forgiving.
I began by asking if there was a “last-mile problem”, resulting in a disconnect between the truths of the gospel and our lives. To bridge the gap, we must remember what God has done for us through his Son. The gospel is the engine of our obedience, empowering and motivating us. Why should we walk in love? It is because we have personally experienced God’s love in Christ. Therefore, as Ephesians 4:32 says, we are to forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave (us). And, as Ephesians 5:2 says, we are to walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Eph 5:2).
We forgive because we have been so graciously forgiven. We love because God has first loved us lavishly in Christ. Thank God for what Jesus has done to save us. Live the new life in Christ in our words, work and relationships. When we walk in love, it shows that we belong to God. It shows that God is with us.