Reflections on the Traineeship
Our trainees have been reflecting on their experience and this week, we conclude this short series with a reflection by Dinnie Ee.
Spending time with the other trainees!
I began the traineeship in July seeking prayer for the Spirit to grant me tenderheartedness towards our church leaders. I asked that the Lord might change the default mode of my heart from prideful suspicion and an arms-length distrust, to a soft, humble attitude of submission and gentleness. I previously reflected that submitting to authority does not come naturally to my sinful heart. It is an ongoing work of the Spirit to dismantle my fleshly instincts, and reorient my eyes towards seeing submission as a joyful, willing posture that reflects our meek and lowly Saviour’s very heart. I am grateful that the Lord has used these past few months to grant me a heart of tenderness towards our elders—those whom the Chief Shepherd has placed as under-shepherds, and who tirelessly labour in exercising God-given authority over us. Through the many meet-ups and conversations we had with individual elders, deacons, and pastoral staff, and the snippets we got to observe of their decision-making, as well as seeing their humble posture towards receiving sermon feedback and inviting us for sermon previews, I got to better appreciate the work and heart that goes behind pastoring this flock of sheep. I thank God for our faithful elders, and thank you for your prayers for my heart!
The church is equipped for ministry
A common thread running through our book discussions was how the ministry of the church falls squarely on the shoulders of the whole church, that is, its members. Church leaders (simply?) equip the saints for the work of ministry. We are not to outsource the work to paid professionals, or expect leaders, structures, or systems to do everything for us. The way Scripture prescribes the growth of the body is through members of the body ministering to one another—one redeemed sinner teaching, admonishing, and exhorting another; all speaking the truth in love to one another. This is how the body grows into the fullness of Christ our head!
Yet so much of this is counter-cultural, grating against our short-term, pragmatic instincts in coming up with immediate solutions, or our passive, let’s-just-wait-for-leaders-to-set-the-direction mindset. I was struck by how, whenever we raised suggestions or questions (say, “Should we have a men’s ministry in GBC?”), the response was simply, “Sure, if someone wants to do it!” May we not unwittingly import worldly schemas as we do the work of ministry, for the church is no worldly organisation run by human hands. Let us, rather, humbly submit to Scripture, faithfully sow seeds, and be patient. For Christ is the Head of the church; He will build the church, and the gates of hell will not overpower it.
A highlight of the traineeship
Helping out with the nametags
A highlight of the traineeship for me was the split-gender track for a month or so, where the female trainees split off to read a separate set of books and met weekly with Ruth for Bible reading. I appreciated the opportunity we had to lead and receive feedback on leading Bible studies, and to also go through a different flavour of books. For example, I much enjoyed the biography of Susannah Spurgeon. Though I used to find biographies of extraordinary people difficult to relate to, I found myself thinking in quite an opposite manner while reading Susie. Likely this is due to the phase of life I’m in: married to Nick Chuan a gospel-worker, both of us loving the Word and good books, and seeking to live lives of service, particularly towards the household of God. I found the portrait of Charles and Susie an inspiring ideal of marriage as a rock-solid spiritual partnership. How I long to be like Susie—a fiercely loyal, zealous, and industrious helpmate and encourager to her husband! This is far from a demeaning or oppressive role, nor is it a byproduct of patriarchal culture. Rather, there is fresh zeal and pulsating synergy when two souls deeply knit together run the race side by side, devoted to the work of the Lord in this lifetime.
An opportunity to serve and love the church
To dispel the misconception of the traineeship as a book club, my fellow trainees and I also had fun being gainfully deployed to help out with various administrative or operational tasks in the church, on top of our existing ministry involvement. This ranged from bigger tasks (e.g., helping out with various logistics before and during the Weekender) to smaller, ad hoc ones (e.g., sieving through a stash of donated books, chucking out antiquated classroom material from Children’s Ministry cupboards, and working on a hymn songbook for wake services). These little tasks reminded us of the joy of humbly serving the church, even, and especially, when it goes unnoticed. If Jesus washed His disciples’ feet, how much more should we be quick to symbolically wash one another’s!
One task I enjoyed was designing, ordering, and printing out nametags for our members. Wearing these navy blue (or otherwise brightly coloured) nametags on Sundays is an example of a small cost we take upon ourselves for the sake of knowing and being known by others in the congregation. It reminds me to be intentional in introducing myself to others, especially older members whom I have not met, and serves as a quick, visual reminder for older saints or those who might need more help in matching names with faces—a wordless act of love! May we humbly lay down our preferences, self-consciousness or biases, and joyfully put others’ needs above our own, moving towards and initiating conversations with fellow members of our body, just as the Shepherd knows each of us by name.
Having some fun together as trainees!
Finally, I consider it God’s great, gracious and timely provision for granting me the luxury of taking an extended break from work, both to enroll in seminary studies and be a part of the traineeship. I recall feeling anxious about whether my request for a second year of unpaid leave would be approved, and asking for prayers for His favour from my employer. Thank you for praying; the Lord has answered! I thank God that He has orchestrated these two years as such, and instilled important and ongoing lessons for my heart. I look forward to many more opportunities to continue learning, being equipped, and serving this body of Christ, particularly through spending time with women in the Word. The new year will bring about more transitions for Nick and me, the most significant of which is our hope to foster a child (potentially from as early as January). We will not be able to do this without the support of our church, and we are eager to share this joy and weighty task together with you.
May the Lord find GBC faithful on the last day, may His Word multiply in our midst, and may He add to our number day by day those being saved.