Men’s Seminar
We recently held a Men’s Seminar and one of our members, Liew Jun Tung shares some takeaways with us.
On 25 October, we held a men’s seminar titled, “Man’s Pursuit of Sexual Purity”. GBC invited speakers from Agape Baptist Church — Pastor Guoliang and Too Teh Hsin (former pastor at Agape) to speak on how the gospel impacts a man’s fight for sexual purity in Christ.
This is a challenging and important topic to address, a struggle that many Christian men have. At the session, the men heard from the speakers, as well as other men. The men spoke candidly about their struggles and what repentance looks like. Often the struggle is ongoing and not once-off. The fight for sexual purity does not stop when they become married, and in fact, continues to be one they have to fight as married men.
Key Takeaways
Sexual sin is a vicious cycle, and it is especially dangerous because it looks beautiful but is often a counterfeit version of the real thing. Sex is beautiful which is created by God for our pleasure and intimacy between husband and wife, and for procreation.
Young, single men should take the opportunity to train themselves to be godly and master their body. This is also equally important for married men.
There is hope in healing and forgiveness in Jesus Christ. We cannot get out of sin by our own strength and willpower and are doomed to repeat this cycle once we are in. So what we can do? Since the Apostle Paul mentioned that "The wages of sin... is death"? But we can take comfort with the following verse, "...the free gift of God is eternal life". God is able to turn what our struggles and failures into strength and support for other people.
Practical and theological applications
Treasure the gospel of grace as mentioned in Matthew 13:44. Remember that pornography and sex is not the treasure, the gospel is.
Recognise the importance of our affections. Do we desire the work of the flesh, or do we desire the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:16-24)? Do we desire fleeting beauty that is temporary, or do we see Christ as beautiful, the source of greater joy?
We must learn to love what God loves, and hate what God calls evil (Rom 12:9). We should be unashamed, but not shameless when it comes to our sin. We should be angry with sin, that it stumbles people, and not let it fester in our heart. We should be unashamed with the gospel and Christ. Let us constantly remind ourselves that we are in the presence of God.
We pursue holiness not legalistically, but out of our adoration to Christ. Pursue God by reading and meditating on His word and praying.
Be radical and firm in cutting aspects of our lives that are causing us to sin. For example, take the initiative to refrain from watching movies if it stumbles or tempts us.
Reject lies and empty philosophies of the world (Col 2:8). Sex is not a “need”; it is a desire. Sexual orientation is not an identity, it's an inclination. Covenant comes before consent and sex was designed to take place within the covenantal relationship, between a husband and wife. Flee from sin!
Regular sex is not the answer to sexual impurity. For husbands, it is important to remember that our wives given by God for us to love sacrificially. They are not an outlet to direct our lust and disordered desires.
Do not fight for sexual purity alone. We need to shine light on the darkness in our life; confess our sins to others (Eph 5:11, Jas 5:15). We need to transparent and let others know where we are struggling. It is important that we seek holistic support from trusted brothers and commit to accountability (Prov 27:17)
Remember to tie our pursuit of sexual purity to a larger missional purpose. We can our story of restoration point others to God's grace (Lk 22:32; 1 Pet 2:12), that it is possible to be free from sexual sins. Even non-believers can see and be blessed and God can use it to for us to share the gospel with them.
This summarises what I have gathered in the seminar. I myself also taken steps to setup an accountability group with a few of my brothers, because I too, struggle with sexual sins. By God's grace, I look forward to that day when I finally have triumph over sexual sins and be an encouragement to others. And to look forward to the day when we have the ultimate joy of being with the Lord, where sin and death will be no more.